Jenny and Kloe share some conservation horror stories, including mysterious tales of possessed equipment and phantasmal fans. Break it down to our Halloween song ‘The Monstrous Crash’ and then wind down with a review of ‘Ghost Stories of the British Museum Audio Guide’ by Noah Angell. Finally Jenny shares some pumpkin preservation tips for everyone’s Halloween needs!
02:59 Can anyone offer us a haunted place to visit?
04:23 Jenny’s possessed air quality monitor
06:40 Kloe’s mysterious fan incident
15:26 What’s the spookiest museum object you’ve ever come across?
19:16 What’s the scariest thing you’ve found in the store?
27:50 The scariest job offers
29:50 Kloe’s addendum on The Fan Incident
31:40 The Monstrous Crash
35:27 Review: Ghost Stories of the British Museum Audio Guide
38:02 Comments, questions, corrections
38:33 Pumpkin preservation
Show Notes:
– S08E04 Halloween Special: https://thecword.show/2020/10/28/s08e04-halloween-special/
– S10E04 Halloween Special: https://thecword.show/2021/10/28/s10e04-halloween-special/
– European Day of Conservation-Restoration: https://www.ecco-eu.org/european-day-of-conservation-restoration/
– S09E06 Leather: https://thecword.show/2021/06/02/s09e06-leather/
– S01E02 Human Remains: https://thecword.show/2017/03/15/s01e02-human-remains/
– S07E02 Frightful Beasts and Where to Find Them: https://thecword.show/2020/04/29/s07e02-frightful-beasts-and-where-to-find-them/
– Spitting Image (TV series): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spitting_Image
– S02E05 Modern Materials: https://thecword.show/2017/10/18/s02e05-modern-materials/
– Meaco environmental monitoring (to verify hauntings): https://meaco.co.uk/
– Ghost Stories of the British Museum Audio Guide: https://music.apple.com/gb/album/ghost-stories-of-the-british-museum-audio-guide/1529228148
– S12E03 Gemstones and Minerals: https://thecword.show/2022/10/12/s12e03-gemstones-and-minerals/
– Making your jack-o-lantern last longer: https://www.nytimes.com/wirecutter/guides/how-to-make-your-pumpkins-last-longer/
***
The Monstrous Crash (vocals by Steve Waddington and the Case Kickers, lyrics by Jenny Mathiasson, James Baillie, Ross Graham and Morgan Fox)
I was working in the lab late one night,
When an eerie noise gave me a fright
I heard new voices I did not recognise,
And suddenly to my surprise,
(There was a crash) There was a monstrous crash!
(A monstrous crash) Something reduced to trash
(There was a crash) I set off at a dash!
(There was a crash) What a monstrous crash!
With gloves in hand I dashed down the hall
No answers from paintings, hung upon the walls
No response from the medieval gallery where
An armoured suit gave me a steely glare…
(There was a crash) There was a monstrous crash!
(A monstrous crash) Something reduced to trash
(There was a crash) I set off at a dash!
(There was a crash) What a monstrous crash!
This report will not be fun, telling bosses what’s been done
The mess might be abhorrent – my work may be undone!
And I rounded the corner, in quite a fright,
But just got stony looks from all the ammonites,
Then the burial goods it was time to brave,
Where votive figures are all silent as the grave
(There was a crash) There was a monstrous crash!
(A monstrous crash) Something reduced to trash
(There was a crash) I set off at a dash!
(There was a crash) What a monstrous crash!
And at last at the gift shop I found the noise,
Where the night guard who our museum employs,
Had tripped over the soft toys’ rack, but then,
Said “Why are you here? It’s 2am!”
(There was a crash) There was a monstrous crash!
(A monstrous crash) Something reduced to trash
(There was a crash) I set off at a dash!
(There was a crash) What a monstrous crash!
So back to my office it was time to creep,
The legionary in his coffin went back to sleep,
But then I heard a distant, case-rattling roar…
Probably the mould beast on the basement floor
(There was a crash) There was a monstrous crash!
(A monstrous crash) Something reduced to trash
(There was a crash) I set off at a dash!
(There was a crash) What a monstrous crash!
Wah-ooh, argh, monstrous crash, no good, wah-ooh
At least it’s not as scary as china repairs done with sellotape…
Wah-ooh, argh, monstrous crash, no good, wah-ooh
Oops… My bad!
***
Hosted by Jenny Mathiasson and Kloe Rumsey.
Intro and outro music by DDmyzik, used under a Creative Commons Attribution license.
Made available under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International license.
A Wooden Dice production, 2022.